utah birth photographer
I've rewritten this post several times. I think I finally have it right.
Recently I shared some pretty personal stuff about my #infertilityjourney. I had some labs done and the results I received weren't great. I'm still processing: feeling shock, denial and some other complicated emotions. But a heart-to-heart with my mom about it left me more positive and looking at the glass half full.
Right now, my biggest takeaway from this turn of events is to stop taking a passive approach to my health and to start being more proactive.
I've always been that way with my health. If I wanted to work out, I did (which was mostly never) - but it was mostly playing sports. If I wanted to eat whatever, I would. I was one of those people who just look at food and gain weight, but "yolo" was my attitude.
Even with pregnancy, I didn't study much about the process and was a very passive participant. As a result, I had a few interventions that could have been avoided if I had done proper study on it. My second birth, I was 40+5 when I was induced. That was my best delivery experience of all 3, because my OB invited me to pull up my son. It was amazing. The third time, I attempted unmedicated which turned out ok, but I didn't love the experience. I compared it with my second where I was more involved in the delivery, and it came up short. Coupled with an emergency surgery that saved my life and waking up in the ICU 12 hours later, it was not the best.
Fourth time? Hoping to get there and hoping it's the best one yet.
As I've been listening to Sara Pixton's podcast on the power of positive birth words I really felt drawn to a quote. It was in reference to high risk pregnancies, but it could still apply to everyone's attitude on their health or pregnancy.
Dr. Sears in "The Healthy Pregnancy Book" says, "We prefer the term "high responsibility pregnancy", over "high risk pregnancy." It implies that you must take greater responsibility for your own care and your own birth decisions. Instead of resigning yourself to the high risk label becoming a passive patient and leaving all birth decisions up to your doctor, become a high responsibility mother. Take an even more active role in your birth partnership."
High responsibility. Whoa. When I heard that, boom, mic drop. I reflected on my passivity with my health and even with my pregnancies and now my infertility. It was time to stop being passive. I'm being responsible for my health, and, when the time comes, my pregnancy.